Mr Milk Dud
by g3nesis1
Summary: Relena LOVES heero. Relena joins the horde of groupies of wufei for 10 an hour. What will happen?
1. HHEEEEEEEERRROOOOO!

"Heeeeeeeerooooooooooooooooooo!!" Relena screamed. "I love you!"  
  
Heero cringed at the sound of her voice. She came up and ,unfortunatly, hugged him.   
  
"EWW!! GET THE FUCK OFF ME ONNA!" Heero said, pushing away.  
  
"I want to hug you, and kiss you, and fu..." Relena quickly got silent.  
  
"Did you say what I think you just said?" Duo asked Relena popping up behind a tree.  
  
Relena said nothing.  
  
"DID YOU, ONNA?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Okay, Relena. Do you remember what I told you when we first met?"  
  
"Yes." She whimpered.  
  
"You know, that I will kill you. Now its time!" He said, chasing her around Duo, in circles. "Get back here, I need to kill you. Stay still, damnit!" He said, getting his daggers from spandex world. "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, KISAMA!"  
  
Relena stopped and cried. Duo hit Heero on the shoulder. "Great, why did you do that? Now, she's going to be crying on my shoulder. I just bought this shirt. It cost $2.00! Damnit!"  
  
Heero looked at Duo. "You.... are... are.... CHEAP!"  
  
"Thanks." Duo replied.  
  
Wufei walked up from the hillside and slapped Relena. "Snap out of it... Dont love him. Love me... I need a few groupies... Dororthy quit. She said I wasnt paying her enough. Would you go for 10.00 an hour?" Relena stopped crying.  
  
"HELL YEAH. all though, can i call you woofie-pooh?"  
  
"No.. you cannot call me woofie-pooh."  
  
"Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Please,with sugar and a cherry on top?"  
  
Wufei sighed. He couldnt bear it anymore. "Yes, you stupid onna. I fucking hate you, but yes. Yes you can."  
  
Duo laughed at Wufei. "Woofie-pooh. Woofie-pooh, woofie-pooh, woofie-pooh."  
  
"You.....cannot call me that either. I am squat's. Not Dud's."  
  
"Mr. Milk Dud to you, my friend."  
  
"i am not your friend."  
  
"so." 


	2. Mere Mortal, Man

Wufei gave Duo the "injustice" look.  
  
"Ha! That looks so gay!" Duo laughed, hysterrically.  
  
Wufei took out his kitana, and Duo hid behind Heero. "Eeek! Help me, Heero. Kill that awful person," He yelled in a womanly voice.  
  
Heero looked at him. "Freakazoid."  
  
"Oh, yay! I forgot, that show is on!" Wufei said.  
  
They all laughed as Woofie went back on, skipping to his own music in his crazy little head, leaving his new groupie, Relena, behind.  
  
Silence rang between the rest of the group. "I think that I'll join him." Heero said, not wanting to stay with Relena.  
  
"Me too." Duo and Heero said, rushing off.  
  
"Wait. Wait for me!" Relena cried.  
  
Meanwhile, Trowa and Quatre were home. Alone. Helping eachother...with some...things....  
  
"Mush it. Mush it harder. You need to get it soft." Quatre told Trowa as Wufei walked in.  
  
His eyes grew big. He covered his eyes and walked upstairs.  
  
"Whats his problem?" Trowa asked, still mushing.  
  
"I dunno." Quatre answered, shrugging his shoulders. "We always try to do this."  
  
Trowa nodded in agreement.  
  
Wufei could hear Trowa scream something. But he didnt understand what it was. He didnt want to know. A few minutes later, he went downstairs, (for some stupid, idiotical reason).  
  
He could hear the moans of exhaustion. "Can you stop that?" He yelled as he walked in.  
  
Trowa and Quatre stood at the counter with their eyes blinking with surprise and wonder.  
  
"Well, fine. If you dont want me to make you dinner. Than I guess I wont!" He yelled, stomping off.  
  
Trowa stopped mushing the potatoes, and walked over to Wufei. He then slapped him, upside the head. "Idiot. Look what you did. Now I wont get to play tonight. Fucking ass-hole." He said, stomping after Quatre. Just then, Heero and Duo walked in to see Wufei cry about being hit in the head.  
  
"You wussy. You should go back to pre-k where you belong."  
  
"Fine. I'll take my barney bear with me." He yelled back, running out the door.  
  
Duo rolled his eyes, and stuck in the porn tape he'd been wanting to watch.  
  
Heero rolled his eyes. "Mortals."  
  
"Well, excuse me for being a mere mortal man!"  
  
"Okay, mr. milk dud." 


	3. Yeah

Duo pouted. "Your a meany!" Duo yelled, hitting Heero with a stuffed animal by him.  
Heero fell off the couch and hit the floor with a thump. Duo tried to restrain his laughing but he couldn't.  
"HAHAHAHAH.. HA! HEHEH!" Then, he looked to Heero's eyes. "eep"  
"Run! You son-of-a-bitch! Run!" Heero grabbed the stuffed animal, and started running after Duo.  
"Stop!" Duo yelled..."Stop! I'LL GET RELENA!" Duo looked to Heero, and then laughed.  
"What are you laughing at?" Heero wondered.  
"x.y.z!" He fell back onto the floor as Heero's face turned beet red.  
"SHUT UP! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER!" He slapped Duo.  
"Okay.. Heero. Just let me watch this tape, pat my weiner, and then we can talk. Now, go in your corner"  
Heero stomped off into the kitchen, where the potatoes were still on the counter. "Hm.." he said. "They aren't mushed enough.. Ameteur..." He laughed.

"Squat.. whats wrong, baby?" Trowa asked.  
"They don't appreciate me.. I'm in this godforsaken house all day, doing the laundry, doing to housework, doing the cooking. And do I even get a thank you? NO"  
Trowa turned from him. "Well, it is a woman's job"  
"WHAT?!? DO I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN"  
Trowa laughed.."Yeah.." 


End file.
